The ideal scenario
Us women (and yes, men do it too), we have developed an ideal scenario of how our life should look like:
- great satisfying career
- a loving and supporting partner
- two adorable kids with a pet in between
- an impeccable home
- all while staying fit and healthy
- and travelling from place to place whenever possible
Easy? Not even by far.
How it ends up looking is that our careers, while still being satisfying, end up exhausting us. By the time we get home, we are often too tired to play piggy rides with our kiddos or “funky town” with our partners (yes, I am going there). Not to mention that you have been eating pasta five times a week and that gym where you have a yearly membership prescription hasn’t seen you in months.
The guilt lives in between
And then creeps up the guilt. That wonderful, sneaky, manipulative voice which constantly tells us that our lives are not what they are supposed to be, and that we need to be doing more in order to feel fulfilled.
And the voice is always there. All. The. Time.
I say: S..W THIS VOICE!!! Completely rebel against it because it does not serve you nor will it help you get out of this viscous circle.
How to rebel against your guilt in 3 steps
Schedule monthly dates: one with yourself (spa, manicure, hairdresser, whatever makes you happy), one with your partner, and one with your kids. Take out at least three afternoons every month to purely re-connect with each other.
The longest research ever done by Harvard University went on for over 70 years with the purpose to discover what makes a happy fulfilled life. Their discovery: our relationships.
Even, if setting apart some quality time with your partner does not seem high on your urgency scale right now, our relationships are important and we should always treat them as such.
Use an early morning to get centered (e.g. meditate for five minutes) and write down two priorities – yes, only two – for that day.
By achieving both, let’s say before 12:00, your day is already successful. You feel productive and ready to tackle whatever is next.
Wherever you are: just be there.
Too often, whilst playing with our kids we also check our emails. You might think you are multitasking what, by the way, is a completely fabricated concept that our brain is incapable of. What our brain actually does is switching from one task to another while decreasing our productivity by over 20% in comparison to sticking to one thing. But your kids perceive it as “I’m not worthy of my mom’s full attention”.
When off work, be off! Should there really be something urgent, it can wait until your babies are asleep. Nothing will suffer should you not reply your emails between 17:00 and 20:00 – except maybe your ego, and this one needs to go as well 😉
I hope these steps help you to rebel against guilt and create a more balanced life for yourself.
Nada Mesqui. Azkua