… to yourself?
People talk of self confidence, and self esteem – but have you ever considered your self worth, and how much you are truly worth to yourself? How much value to you put on your mental and physical wellbeing?
Take a moment to reflect on your past week:
- How much time did you spend on nourishing yourself? Having a bath, curling up with a book or going for a walk around your local park?
- How many times did you gently say no in the knowledge that saying yes would drain your energy or put too much pressure on yourself?
- How many times did you smile at yourself in the mirror? Lovingly acknowledging the funny, curious, caring and loving sparkle in your eyes?
- How many times did you praise yourself inwardly for doing well? For being patient with your kids, being kind to a stranger, hitting that project deadline?
- How much attention did you pay to your body whilst getting dressed? Did you drape it gently in your favourite fabrics? How much whilst getting showered? Did you gently massage your limbs and wash yourself like Cleopatra herself or was it more like scrubbing down some dirty tiles?
So many of us are such generous friends, professional workers and loving parents. Yet we suck at loving and caring for ourselves. Everything and everyone is put ahead of us and we are allowing us the scraps at the end of the day – if that.
What’s causing this?
Many times a lack of self-worth and self-love and it expresses itself in different ways:
We keep putting others needs first.
We dress in too big, too old, too frumpy clothes.
We drink, eat, shop…. too much.
We don’t speak up.
We don’t take up our space.
Underlying these kind of behaviours are usually a range of limiting beliefs like:
Nobody loves me.
I’m not (good, clever, thin, famous, bold…) enough.
Tall poppies get cut back.
If I make others happy first, I’ll be happy.
The problem with sticking to these kind of limiting beliefs is that we will not be able to live the richest life possible for us. It means we keep ourselves small, dim our light, dress in drab colours and keep our voice down.
From Self-Doubt to Self-Worth and Self-Love
One step to transform our low self worth is to become aware of the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves.
When you make statements like ‘’I’d like to _______ but _______” catch yourself. Whatever comes after the ‘’but’’ is often a limiting belief.
- I have to take care of my family first
- If I don’t work late, I will lose my job
- I’m not pretty enough to find love
- I’m too old to find work
- I don’t have the necessary qualification
Just because it FEELS like the truth does not mean it’s true
There are innumerable limiting beliefs and they are specific to each individual. The important thing to remember is that they are not the truth. The challenge is that they often FEEL like the truth.
So let’s explore one of your limiting beliefs and choose something more empowering for you to belief in the future instead.
Start by writing down one of the limiting beliefs that keeps holding you back. And then ask yourself the following series of questions:
- When did you decide to believe that?
- Did you ever not believe it?
- Do you know anyone who doesn’t think that’s the truth?
- What’s the consequence of you believing that?
- What could you believe instead?
- What would happen if you believed that instead?
Can you start opening up to the potential that what might have appeared as the truth in the past was simply a thought you decided to believe one day?
Can you open yourself up to the possibility that your life could be different if you started adopting more nourishing, self-valuing and caring thoughts about yourself?
At Azkua we believe we’ve all been put on this planet with an innate purpose and an innate mission. Stop blocking your potential and reconnect with your innate strengths and power. And if you don’t know where to start we can help you rekindle the flame inside.
Your fire has not gone out, it’s just waiting to be fanned.
Manuela Damant. Azkua